


achoo, i’m so happy (that i’m not alone anymore)

by colderthancold



Category: LOONA (Korea Band)
Genre: Slice of Life, all girls are mentioned
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-17
Updated: 2018-09-17
Packaged: 2019-07-13 09:19:00
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,103
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16014935
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/colderthancold/pseuds/colderthancold
Summary: Hyunjin was sick, but not of Heejin.





	achoo, i’m so happy (that i’m not alone anymore)

Hyunjin was a handful when healthy and just a mess when sick, but Heejin couldn’t just leave her there to die because number one: she was apparently her best and only friend and apparently best and only friends don’t leave each other to die. Number two: Hyunjin only liked when Heejin took care of her when sick. Number three: She always did stupid things when sick so that was fun (except when it wasn’t, like the time Heejin thought Hyunjin was on the verge of dying). And even though Hyunjin got sick easily, taking care of her still had something fun about it.

“Hey.” Hyunjin said from the bed. Heejin stopped spacing out. She had been looking out the window for who knows how long, remembering things and forgetting others, then tangling her already messy thoughts and starting again.

“Yeah?” Heejin asked. Summer had felt eternal, that year. She had met Hyunjin the exact day vacation had started— not many people hit you with their bikes and say ‘damn, it was new’ instead of saying sorry, so she left quite an impression on her. They became unlikely friends as Hyunjin’s something (Haseul or Kahei or both, Heejin couldn’t remember) scolded her for being so insensitive. They started hanging out days later by chance and now encountered the other on daily basis, making it seem like it was a coincidence even though both of them knew it was not.

“Can you fill—?” Heejin didn’t let her finish. She stood up and walked to Hyunjin’s night-table, taking the glass of water from it and showing it to her.

“It’s already full.” She said. Hyunjin scowled.

“But that’s old water.” She sounded pouty. Heejin didn’t know how to feel about that.

“It’s not old. I filled it before you fell asleep.” The sun came shining through the window and made the water draw shapes on Hyunjin’s bed covers. It was beautiful, even if Hyunjin’s covers were awful.

“I fell asleep like a hundred years ago.” Hyunjin answered. The tone she used was dramatic and Heejin couldn’t help but sigh.

“It was half an hour ago.” She raised her eyebrows at the same time Hyunjin closed her eyes.

“It felt like a hundred years ago.” She said, putting her arm over her closed eyes.

“So the water will feel old?” Hyunjin just nodded from her spot on her bed and Heejin sighed one more time, faintly. “I’m gonna go refill it, then. Anything else?” But Hyunjin didn’t answer. She was asleep again.

She walked where the kitchen was and left the glass of water on the counter. Hyunjin had gotten sick five times that summer. The first time it had been a cold. She had been blowing her nose so much it was always red and her voice sounded kind of husky. The second time was because she ate something that had expired and couldn’t eat normal food for a week. The third time was fever (which was the time Heejin thought she’d die, god, she got actually scared for her). The fourth time was sunburn (which counted as being sick because Hyunjin acted as if she was). And the fifth time, now, seemed like a common virus. It was weird for such a weird girl to have a common virus. Heejin couldn’t help but smile at that thought. An uncommon girl with a common virus.

She took the glass again and went to Hyunjin’s room. She moved her until she opened her eyes. She gave her the glass and Hyunjin drank from it.

“You didn’t change the water.” She said. She gave Heejin her back. “Asshole.” She muttered under her breath. Heejin sighed.

“I did. Maybe the water in your house tastes old. I have no idea.” Heejin sat down on her spot next to the window again. Hyunjin looked at her.

“I didn’t hear the water run.” She said. Heejin almost frowned.

“So you weren’t asleep.” She said. Hyunjin kept staring at her and frowned. She was sitting on the bed, now, crossing her arms.

“Who said I was?” She asked. “Now I’m gonna dehydrate.” She added.

“Stop being so dramatic.” Heejin said. She moved her chair a little bit closer to Hyunjin’s bed for some reason. “I don’t even know why I’m—” She stopped. “Never mind.” And they remained silent.

 

* * *

 

“Tell me something.” Hyunjin said, suddenly. Heejin didn’t understand what she meant and asked. She had been spacing out again— lately she had been prone to doing so. Hyunjin closed her eyes. “Tell me something. A story.” She repeated. And Heejin was about to argue by saying things such as ‘I’m terrible at telling stories’ and ‘I don’t have imagination’ but she just started to say whatever came to her mind because it couldn’t be that hard.

“Well, it’s about a girl…” Hyunjin interrupted her.

“Boring!” She said, her voice monotone and loud. Heejin sighed. Hyunjin was as annoying as ever and a ‘you seem healthy to me’ almost escaped Heejin’s mouth.

“You didn’t let me finish. She was, uh, an alien. And she was left on earth so—” But Hyunjin interrupted her again.

“That’s literally ET’s plot.” And Heejin felt frustrated because what her best and only friend was saying was true.

“Then you tell me a story!” She said. She didn’t sound nice, but she wanted to know what Hyunjin’s mind looked like because she was pretty mysterious in some weird sense of the word.

“Well, it starts a few years ago…” And god, Hyunjin was the best story-teller Heejin had ever met. Maybe even better than Sooyoung, who had quite a fame in town for being an amazing story-teller (so much that even though Heejin hadn’t met her she was sure it was true).

Hyunjin added voices, sound effects, controlled her tone of voice perfectly and never hesitated. By the end of the story Heejin was more than engrossed on it.

“And that’s it.” Hyunjin said all of a sudden, killing the mood and the magic. Heejin felt as if she had been woken up by someone throwing cold water at her face.

“But—” Heejin wanted to ask a lot of things since the story ended like that but words weren’t on her side. She sighed. “It was a good story.” And Heejin realized that that was the first time she called a matter related to Hyunjin something nice (second, actually, but that’s another story).

“Yeah, I know. It’s the plot of my favorite movie.” And what came after that declaration was just a disaster.

 

* * *

 

(The first time Heejin called Hyunjin something nice was the third time she got sick. Hyunjin’s fever was the highest it got and she was sleeping. Heejin was staring at her from her spot next to the window. And she noticed it. She noticed how beautiful Hyunjin looked, even if she was sick. What she saw under the dim light of that Wednesday morning was an angel. She got closer to her.

“You’re beautiful.” She muttered. It was something she couldn’t control. Heejin looked at her best and only friend. She wasn’t lying, no. Kim Hyunjin was an angel. The most annoying angel ever, but an angel still.)

 

* * *

 

“Let’s go for a walk this Sunday, huh?” Hyunjin said. Heejin woke up. She had fallen asleep. She dreamed of something yellow. Something vivid.

“Why?” It was the first time one of them had the intention of making plans to hang out with the other. It felt odd but nice. A new kind of feeling bloomed on Heejin’s chest. Heart-pounding excitement.

“Let’s just go, okay? Vacation is ending, and Mom said I can get out of bed on Sunday. Go with me, will you? Being alone is unbearable, now.” Heejin had always been shocked when it came to when Hyunjin decided to be blunt and honest.

“You don’t like being alone?” Heejin asked. She didn’t want to change the subject but she wanted to know. She wanted to know Kim Hyunjin.

“No. I mean, I don’t care. Got used to it after a few years,” Hyunjin kind of chuckled. She didn’t sound sad but different. “They always say it, you know? That I’m weird. Not a nice kind of weird, I know that. Like weird-weird. But I can’t help it. It’s… It’s not like I don’t have friends, but they have better friends than me, you get what I mean? I’m always the odd one out. But I don’t care. I didn’t care.” And Heejin felt sad. She had heard that a few times. That Hyunjin was weird. And she had seen her alone, too.

“And why do you care now?” Heejin asked. Hyunjin looked elsewhere.

“Because you’re here now, idiot.” She said. And Heejin didn’t want to ask any more questions. Hyunjin looked more beautiful than ever and she was saying those things and Heejin was feeling so many feelings, so many nameless, unnamable and crazy feelings. “You were always alone, back then, too.” Hyunjin commented. She had a small smile on her face. Heejin looked at her. The expression on her eyes was different, too.

“I’m homeschooled, I couldn’t help it.” Hyunjin’s look said the opposite. “Well, I could. At first it was easy, making friends. Then they started going to school, making friends there… They forgot about me. I can’t blame them, though. I kept in touch with some of them but it wasn’t the same. Still nice and all, but never the same. Because they knew that I was different.”

“They knew that you were weird.” Hyunjin said. Heejin looked at her and smiled a bit.

“Yeah, they knew that I was weird.” She said. It didn’t hurt anymore, but it once did hurt like hell. Heejin could still remember being six or seven, looking at her friends out of the window, playing with other kids. She wouldn’t have cared if they hadn’t ignored her when she went there. She wouldn’t have cared if they hadn’t made her feel like that. Left out.

They stayed in silence for a second or two and the place felt somehow off and the air heavy and dense.

“This is getting sappy. I better say something stupid soon.” Hyunjin said after a few good minutes of silence. They laughed but something had changed. Maybe the way they looked at each other.

“I’ll go out with you.” Heejin said. Hyunjin, whose nose was scrunched and pretty after laughing, asked a question.

“What?” And before Heejin could answer, Hyunjin patted a spot next to her on the bed. “Come sit here.” She said. Heejin did as she was told.

“I’ll go out with you, this Sunday. Let’s go.” She smiled. Hyunjin did the same.

“Thanks.” She said. “For staying with me.”

“I know you only like it when I take care of you.” Hyunjin made a weird face.

“I— it was Yeojin, right? That brat, I’m so gonna kill her when—” But Heejin giggled and somehow that made Hyunjin shut up.

“It’s true, then?” And when Hyunjin was about to answer, Heejin fell from the bed. Hyunjin laughed so much Heejin thought she’d die and Heejin smiled so much her face ended up hurting. And they were happy. So, very happy.

 

* * *

 

First day of school. First actual day only to Heejin, anyways. She was finally going to attend a normal high-school, just like everyone else. She was starting her sophomore year. She didn’t share any classes with Hyunjin (who was a sophomore, too), though. And Hyunjin didn’t know she was attending school, either. Heejin had meant to tell her the day before, Sunday, when they were walking together, but Hyunjin started saying the things she said and Heejin forgot about everything else. Her words were still on her mind now, tattooed on her brain.

She knew some of the people that attended that high-school and saw some of them as she walked in. She maintained nice relationships with most of the people that lived in the town, so she waved a few times when finding her locker. She smiled at that. Knowing some people made her feel safe or something of that sort. It made her feel as if she wasn’t an outcast.

The day flowed nicely. Heejin didn’t expect it to be so good and she ended up blending in just fine with the rest of the students. The problem was lunch time. Of course. Heejin had watched a few movies with new students or whatever as protagonists and had noticed that thing— they always ate lunch alone, at the bathroom stalls. She wouldn’t do that, but she did sit on the table the furthest from the others. She had blended in just nice, of course; that meaning she was just as invisible as anyone.

But then, something happened.

“You know, I thought math couldn’t be worse, and I was wrong. It’s crazy how crazy people can be, don’t you think, Heejin-ah? My teacher thinks numbers are alive or something. Or I didn’t hear correctly. Anyways, it’s the first day and I already want out. What about you?” Hyunjin sat next to her, already talking before she did so. A smile made its way to Heejin’s face. It felt as if she had always been a student in that school, and she loved that.

“Well, it was better than I expected. I mean, the classes are boring and all but I don’t feel like a misfit so I guess that’s fine.” And Hyunjin smiled and Heejin’s smile turned even bigger. Then they heard something. Or rather, someone.

“Honestly? You’re making it sound worse than it was. You weren’t even there. It could be even labeled as funny, in some way.”

“But I can imagine how it was, Yeojin, and it doesn’t sound funny at all. I can picture it just fine, actually. Not fun.”

“I don’t think you can.”

Two other girls sat on their table, in front of them. Heejin knew them. Jo Haseul and Im Yeojin. She had talked to them once or twice. They were having something similar to an argument but none of them seemed to be actually mad or serious, for that matter. And even though Heejin didn’t know her much she knew Haseul was just pretending to be mad and did find whatever Yeojin did funny.

“Dude, it’s the first day! Chill!” Yeojin exclaimed, patting Haseul’s back. She looked at Heejin and Hyunjin, then. “Hi ladies.” She said. Her smile had something really playful about it. Heejin thought it was really nice.

“Can’t chill if you keep doing that kind of things. And hi, girls.” Haseul looked at them and her eyebrows were in an ‘I’m stressed as hell’ position. “God, you’re gonna give me a heartache if you keep acting like that, Yeojin.” She massaged the sides of her head.

“What did she do?” Hyunjin asked. Yeojin’s smile turned bigger.

“Let’s say the lab won’t be called lab anymore.” And she winked. And everyone on the table started laughing because Yeojin could do whatever and still be the most charming girl around.

“Shut up.” And two other people joined the table, one making the other stop talking.

“I’m sorry! But you like her, don’t you? Just go talk to her, then! It’s been a year, Jungeun-ah, I think you—” But the girl with the brightest smile got interrupted. Heejin had seen her a few times before but didn’t know her name. She just knew she was like the sun.

“Just-just stop. Please. And hi. Why are you all laughing?” Jungeun asked. Yeojin raised her eyebrows at her.

“Just me being hilarious again.” She said. Jungeun chuckled.

“You wish, brat.” And then she looked at Heejin. “What’s your name?” She asked. Heejin chocked. She wasn’t expecting that.

“Jeon Heejin,” She said. Then, she added: “Nice to meet you.” The girl smiled. Heejin was kind of loving how everyone was like, there.

“I’m Kim Jungeun, nice to meet you too.” And then she started talking. Like really talking. “You must be new, right? Even though I’ve seen you around a few times. Look, I’m not gonna be like the people from the movies and give you stupid indications on how to survive in this hell of an environment but for your safety never believe anything Yeojin says,” She earnt a ‘hey!’ from Yeojin when she said that but she continued like nothing had happened, “and never befriend —and I repeat, never befriend!— Kim Jiwoo. She will just try to get you do… things you don’t want to do. She’s a mess like that. Even though she looks like an angel I swear she isn’t one.” The last part was muttered and it was a lie. Just as Jungeun finished saying that Heejin looked at Kim Jiwoo (who honestly couldn’t be less of a threat) and she smiled at her. Wow. It felt like being shot at with a happiness gun.

“I’m Kim Jiwoo! Nice to meet you!” She threw herself over the table and gave Heejin a handshake. “And I don’t know what Jungeun was saying but I bet it was a lie. She’s dumb like that sometimes.” And another discussion started.

Then someone else arrived, and she was beautiful and of course well-known. Jung Jinsoul. How many stories had Heejin heard about her? She had lost count.

“Hey.” She said, sitting down. Haseul frowned.

“Where’s Kahei?” She asked. “Wasn’t she with you?”

“She said she was taking a flight directly to Hong Kong right now. I’m pretty sure she just went to eat out with Sooyoung.” She started eating and Heejin felt Jiwoo groan. Then, Heejin noticed she hadn’t eaten anything and that Hyunjin was on her second serving. “Can’t blame them, though. Got some shitty teachers this year. I hope they bring something to share. And hi there, I’m Jinsoul.” She said. Heejin almost said ‘I know’.

“I’m Heejin. Nice to meet you.”

“Same.” And Jinsoul took another bite of her food. “God, I can’t believe they’re losing this. It’s really good. That’s why, kids, you should always eat at the cafeteria and—” But everyone was already interrupting her. Everyone, underlined and highlighted.

And people wouldn’t stop arriving. It was Choi Yerim, this time. Heejin knew her because she was her almost-neighbor. They were kind of friends, or at least got along well (which was obvious since she was one of the sweetest people Heejin had ever met).

“Hi everyone!” She said as she sat down. Yeojin frowned.

“Why are you alone? Where are Hyejoo and Chaewon?” She asked. Yerim faked a pout.

“Am I not enough?” She asked. Yeojin’s face was serious and that was something different.

“No. It’s just that Hyejoo was kind of nervous today, so I’m worried. I can’t help it.” She explained. Yerim smiled.

“She went with Chaewon to her clubroom. She said—” But someone from behind Heejin interrupted her. She scared her.

“She said no one had taken interest on her club ever, which I don’t think it’s really weird.” And that had to be famous Sooyoung because she was with Kahei. “Hey kids.” Was her way of greeting everyone. She sat on the edge of the table.

“Weren’t you going to eat out?” Haseul asked.

“We did. What did we skip, Kahei? Calculus?” Kahei shook her head.

“Biology.” She said.

“God, you should be giving example and yet…” And Haseul seemed to be a funny-stressed kind of person. Then everyone started talking again.

Lunch went by fast and it was different and amazing and a universe on its own. Heejin went to class feeling like she had gone to a different galaxy for a while. It had been the closest to a surreal experience she’d ever had. Wait. It was the second closest to a surreal experience she had ever had. The first one had been the day before, Sunday.

When she arrived home she was tired but happy. She fell asleep thinking about how the year would go by, just when she was going to discover the answer.

 

* * *

 

She woke up because of the phone ringing. Her mom answered.

“It’s for you.” She said. Heejin took it. She could hear someone breathing heavily on the other side. Hyunjin always did the same— she never greeted first when she was the one calling.

“Hey.” Heejin said. “Why’re you calling?” They always greeted the other like that.

“Hey.” Hyunjin said. “Why didn’t you tell me?” She asked. Heejin knew what she was talking about. She didn’t sound hurt, or so Heejin thought. She just sounded kind of confused. Heejin could her hear a frown on her voice.

“I…” Heejin stopped. She felt like telling her over the phone wasn’t the right thing to do. “Let’s go somewhere. I’ll tell you there.” But she didn’t know what she was saying; words just came out of her mouth without any warning. Telling her over the phone wasn’t right, yes, but what was she supposed to tell her? ‘I forgot to tell you because Sunday was crazy’? ‘I forgot to tell you because sometimes your smile is too stunning and it makes me forget everything’? ‘I forgot because you’re you and that’s it’? God almighty, Jeon Heejin was as confused as one can be.

“Okay. I’ll be near the river. See you there.” Hyunjin hung up. That was another thing about her— she never said bye when talking over the phone. Heejin knew there was a reason to it but didn’t know which. So she started walking to the river.

She kicked some rocks on her way there. She saw some of the people she had sat with during lunch, too. They said hi to her, waved their hands and all— Heejin did the same. Some of them asked where she was going, if she wanted to hang out or if she was sick because she looked like she was. Heejin said she was going somewhere, that she couldn’t hang out just about then and that no, that she had just woken up so maybe that’s why she looked like that. They all said ‘see you tomorrow’. Heejin did, too. ‘See you tomorrow’. Saying that made Heejin smile widely. She felt like they had been friends since forever because they treated her like that and she loved it and she loved them.

She arrived ten minutes after she left her house. Hyunjin was already there, throwing rocks to the river.

“Don’t do that. You’re scaring the animals.” Heejin said. Hyunjin looked back and let the rock she had in her hand fall.

“Why didn’t you tell me?” She asked. Heejin sat down. Hyunjin did, too.

“Going straight to the point, aren’t we?” She kind of giggled. “I— I don’t know. It just didn’t cross my mind, when I was with you.” But it was deeper than that, it was almost as if— “Do you mind?” She asked, in hopes of stopping her train of thought.

“No, not really.” Hyunjin said. “I mean, I would’ve liked to know ‘cause… I didn’t want you to feel… To feel alone. You’re not alone anymore, Heejin. And don’t make me say it again, it’s gross.” She said. Heejin looked at her side profile and had to contain herself from smiling. The sun was about to go down and Hyunjin looked more than ethereal.

“You’re not alone, either. All those people who sat with us at lunch— they like you, Hyunjin.” Heejin said. Hyunjin moved closer to her.

“I like you better.” She sounded the poutiest she had ever sounded.

“Come on, don’t be a kid. They do like you a lot and I—” But Hyunjin didn’t let her finish.

“About what I said on Sunday…” And Heejin felt as if she was falling through a rabbit hole.

 

* * *

 

(Blue skied Sunday. Birds chirping and two friends walking through an unknown path. One of them whispers something. The other asks.

“What did you say?”

“Nothing.”

“Don’t be an ass. What did you say?”

“That I like you.”

“Yeah? I like me too.”

“Shut up. I mean it.”

“Come on, take a joke.”

“I mean it. I like you a lot. I like you so much you could even say…”

“Say what?”

One of them steps on a stick. It breaks. Then, there’s silence.)

 

* * *

 

“What about it?” Heejin asked. Hyunjin sighed a sigh so small it was barely hearable. Heejin moved closer to her, held her hand. Hyunjin looked at her. Heejin giggled.

“I like you too, idiot. I like you a lot.”

And they looked at the river. Hyunjin squeezed Heejin’s hand and Heejin noticed how clingy she could be. She squeezed it back. The sun was setting and none of them were alone anymore.

**Author's Note:**

> idk if i should change kahei to ara or vivi or something else. please let me know and i'll do so as soon as possible. aside from that-- i loved writing this and hope you all do too. i like how 2jin's relationship can be read as either platonic or romantic or whatever. anyways, take care, remember to smile and peace out! o7
> 
> (also! a part of the title is taken from one of my favorite loona songs 8^))


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